Friday, July 1, 2016


Yup.... the time of year you bloggers hate, my birthday and now that I am going to be 46 on the 18th, I think I can celebrate the whole month... at least that is what I am telling myself so I can get over all that has happened in the last two years of my life... I am at rock bottom, but friends and family have been there for me and I am lucky to have that... so this is my  month, my month to step into my future and succeed at my business and also meet and greet new friends, hang out with old friends and just live life... at Auntie Mame said :

If you are feeling friendly, click here to see what I want for my birthday... but all I need is your continued support and love... thank you...

Friday, June 24, 2016

I will survive...

From 2014 to today has been a very bumpy and sad road for me as you may or may not know... so I am throwing it all out there real quick...

*Cricket (14) and Pino (10) both passed away
*My father passed away (68)
*A dear friend and fellow blogger took his own life (late 40's)
*One of the nicest neighbors you could ask for passed away, and now her husband has moved (early 60's)
*My business has been crushed due to lack of focus
*Jeff and I are not living together, basically separated
*Still dealing with issues on my dad's estate
*Dealing with medical issues from Severe Depression and Anxiety to Liver and blood issues
*The German Shepherd Rescue of Virginia is coming by tomorrow to assess Zeal so they can find her a good home
*Of course finances are lingering overhead
*Every time I think I am moving in right direction, it seems a brick wall pops up
*I take more meds than I really want to

The take away here is, things are improving physically with weight and liver. New medications are doing better than what I was taking before and hopefully I will be completely off of some of them by years end...but it is a process... I am working on getting part time work to help cover bills now that I am on my own. I have Nanook who is very good and seems to be about 90% housebroken now... she has the same temperament as Pino.. and that I like... Roxy is with Jeff, so I get to still see her from time to time... I have great friends who have my back when I run low on food or need advice outside therapy sessions...  I hope with being more focused on business, my financial situation will improve and a part time gig will help too... it is like I am at the bottom of Mt. Everest and it is cloudy and snowy some days and cannot see the peak, but other days, the sun is shining and the peak seems reachable...

Sorry for my little pitty party, but it makes me feel good putting it down.  And if you or someone you know is going through a hard time with depression or anxiety, give them a hug and be there for them... I used to think they were whiners or looking for attention, but what they do need is a shoulder to lean on, if only briefly... maybe help them find a therapist that can help them at little or now cost, or if they have insurance, let them know it is okay to seek help... it really does work.

Formerly Know as The Fan Free Clinic

Tonight was the big unveiling of our new branding and logo for the Fan Free Clinic... We are now the healthbrigade.  Almost 50 years serving the Richmond Community through birth control issues in 60's and 70's, to the AIDS Crisis in the 80 and now mental health crisis.  We have been a bit a head of the curve for most oganizations like us.  Standing up for those who cannot afford true healthcare.  Thanks to the volunteers and staff, we help over 10,000 people a year in our medical facility and many more through HIV outreach, and other programs.  We are not one of those pop up clinics you see in CVS or Kroger, our volunteers spend time with the patients, get to know them, and help them get through whatever problems they may have physically and emotionally.  I am very proud to serve on the Development Committee is organizing and helping with fundraising efforts.  So a BIG  KUDOS for all the hard work to everyone who was involved with bringing this new change and attitude to our facility.  Picture above is of me and Kim who heads Development Committee and is a Board Member.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I think I am too nice sometimes...and a bit needy too...

So much to catch up on, but I will make it brief as possible...been kinda busy trying to pull my shit together.  Being single again and all the financial crap of breaking up and dividing bills is crazy.  It is amicable, but still rough... my frig echos when I open it up... Tomorrow the German Shepherd Rescue of Virginia is coming over to do an assesment on Zeal, as much as I hate to, but she is still a puppy and almost 100lbs. and a lot to take care of and if I get evicted, I cannot take a dog that size into an apartment... the only good part about it is that she is still young enough that she will be able to move into a loving home and the rescue folks are very deligent on how they match up Shepherds with forever homes...probably more so than adoption agencies for kids... I pray she will get a good home and have lots of fun... they will also, upon request, send me updates and pictures so I know she is doing well.  I am keep Nanook for now, as she is 4 years old and has the same attitude as my Pino did... she likes to be rubbed from time to time, but enjoys laying next to my desk while I work and by my bed at night...very sweet and a bit timid around folks, but not aggressive like Zeal. Very tough decision, but has to be done... also, have spent this week shopping my car around to see if I can get someone to buy it... basically pay off loan and get enough money to buy a car from my brother... that would kill one payment and improve my credit score, which has taken a beating the last year...anything that I have left that I can sell, is going on Craigslist... I do have some things working for me in the business side of thingss, but I am not going to jinx that just yet... Also, my birthday month is fast approaching, so I am updating my wish list with things that I need or want... WISH LIST  At this point I have no shame.  The last two  years have sucked and I am trying to get down a better path... two months ago I was pushing 250lbs and this week I am down to 215lbs... I want to keep going so I can get a nice tan and be in shape and get off of some of these damn medications I am on... to my blog family out there..thank you for watching and reading my stupid shit for over 10 years now... I wish you all the best, and enjoy the rest of Pride Month!! (cuz Kelly's month is next...LOL) If you made it this far, thank you for reading and being there... HUGZ and KISSES!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2016


My heart goes out to the family and friends of the victims of the shooting in Orlando.

Change is coming... :( Update

Some more hard decisions to make in life right now.  Roxy and Zeal have not been getting along since Jeff moved out, and it got pretty nasty, but Jeff has been able to take in Roxy in his new apartment and is settling in well.  Also, I think it is good for both of them... she is getting older and calming and gives Jeff a good companion.  Now the really hard part.  Zeal, is just about a year and a half old and she is still in puppy mood.  She is almost 100lbs and just such a sweat dog, but she is mostly German Shepherd and just hard to handle, especially with a four year old smaller Huskie.  They play well together, but Zeal is in puppy mode and Nannok is in that stage where she wants to play about 5 minutes then just chill and Nanook is just over powering.  SO, I am having to let her go.  Working with my vet and some really good rescue agencies to find her a forever home before she gets to old so she can fit in with new great family or person who will take good care of her.  Breaks my heart.  She so sweet, but in my current situation I cannot give her the attention she truly needs on my own, and she is too big for Jeff's apartment.  I am going to keep Nanook as she is fun, but she is also easy going.  Being from a puppy farm, I have to teach her to be calm on leash, but otherwise, she is warming up to people and gets along with other dogs really well... 
She reminds me a lot of Pino, especially in this pic up on sofa checking things out... otherwise, she does not get on furniture (yet)... a lot of life changes now.  Jeff and I are having lunch today (Sunday) at his place so I can see Roxy and then we are pounding out some financial stuff as far as bills, but we are on good terms now.  But every time you turn around, something else pops up, so we are working through things and our friends have been great.  When dust settles, I think things will be fine, just gotta get through this first part.

I am going to have to sell the car, but don't know what I will get in place of it. Working on several options, but credit sucks right this moment so no loans. Have been talking with family, but no help there for loans or car...but I have hopes on a couple of wild ideas. Not big hopes, but we will see. Cross your fingers. Outside my business, I am working a project that could be really good for me...but it will take a bit of time...well a little bit of time to know one way or another.

I am a new medication that has seemed to make me really focused and the last three days I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Organizing office even more... taking care of business...doing yard work, cleaning house... I love it...increased sex drive (LOL) but, still a lot on the mind.  So when I go to bed mind is racing, and then BOOM...sleep!!! YAY!!!
Of course i am wide awake now....arghhhs

Time for bed..goodnight y'all... still looking for investor or someone to buy car or take Zeal to a great home.

Night, Night

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Pride Challenge 2016...pass the word.

It is June and that means the Pride Flag comes on here on the blog.  Feel free to copy and paste on your blog or Facebook or other social media, just give me credit and link to my blog and I will link your blog or Facebook here as we move through June.  Happy Pride!!!